最少0.27元开启百度文库VIP‚查询详细具体内容> 原上传者：乐图数据信息 一个简单通俗易懂的英语笑话篇一：简单英语小笑话heisreallysomebody--.--heisreallysomebody.whatdoeshedo?--.他真是一个风云人物--我大叔下方有1000本人｡
--他真是一个风云人物｡ 干嘛的？--公墓守陵人｡
mylittledogcan'treadmrs.brown:oh,mydear,!mrs.smith:!mrs.brown:It'snouse,mylittledogcan'tread.我狗不认识字布朗夫人：哦｡ 亲爱哒‚我将爱惜这个小狗给丢失！斯密斯妻子：但是你该在报纸上发布广告啊！布朗夫人：无用的东西‚小狗不认字｡ ”bringmethewinner--waiter,.--I'msorry,sir..--well,bringmethewinnerthen.给我那个打胜吧--服务生‚这一龙虾仅有一只爪｡
--真的对不起‚老先生｡ 这一只毫无疑问打过架了｡ --哦｡ 那给我那个打胜吧｡
."?"","heanswered."You'reagoodboy,"saidthemotherproudly."herearetwocentsmore.?""."好宝宝小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱｡ “昨日给这个钱做什么｡
Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience. At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America." 他们是以国外立即所带来的 一位中国老妇人在美国探望女儿回家没多久｡ 到一家市银行存钱女儿赠给美钞｡
在银行柜面｡ 银行员工仔细检查了每一张钞票‚看有没有假｡ 这种行为让老太太不耐烦‚最终确实忍耐不住说：“信任我‚ 老先生‚ 也请相信这种纸币｡
这些都是名副其实的美金‚ 他们是以国外立即所带来的｡ ”｡
Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself. Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen? Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won. 他赢了 汤母：约翰尼‚你弟弟好么？ 约翰尼：他受病卧床不起了｡
他受过伤｡ 汤母：真糟糕‚怎么回事儿？ 约翰尼：其实做游戏‚看谁可以把身体伸出窗户外面比较远｡ 他赢了｡
I Have His Ear in My Pocket Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?" "A kid bit me," replied Ivan. "Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother. "I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket." 它的耳朵里面从我衣袋里 胡特鼻子流着血回到家｡ 他妈妈问‚“发生了什么事情？” “一个男孩咬住了我一口‚”胡特说｡
“见到他你能认出吗？”妈妈问｡ “他无论走到哪里我都可以认出来他｡ ”胡特说｡
“它的耳朵里面还从我衣袋里了｡ ” A Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy." 好宝宝 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱｡
“昨日给这个钱干什么了？” “我给了一个可怜老太太‚”他回答道｡ “你真是个好宝宝｡ ”妈妈自豪地说｡
“再给两分钱｡ 可是你为什么对这位老婆婆那样有兴趣呢？” “她是一个卖糖果的｡ ”
Drunk One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk." "But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman！" 喝醉 一天‚ 爸爸与儿子一道回家了｡ 这个小孩正处在那类对啥事非常感兴趣的年纪‚总是有提不尽的难题｡
她向爸爸发询问道：“父亲‚‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔‚小孩‚”爸爸回答道‚“你看那里站在那里两个警察｡ 假如我将他们当做了四个｡ 那我即使喝醉了｡ ”
“但是‚父亲｡ ”小朋友说‚“那里仅有一个警察呀！” Hospitality The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy. 热情好客 因为顾客在食用苹果馅饼时‚家里没乳酪了‚因此女主人家为大家深表歉意｡ 他们家的小男孩默默的离开了房间｡
过了一会儿｡ 手里拿着一片乳酪返回屋子‚把乳酪放到顾客的盘里｡ 顾客微微一笑把乳酪放入口中说：“小孩‚你的双眼便是比你们妈妈好｡
你在哪里找到的乳酪？” “在捕鼠夹上‚ 老先生｡ ”这小男孩说｡
He Won Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself. Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen? Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won. 他赢了 汤母：约翰尼‚ 你弟弟好么？ 约翰尼：他受病卧床不起了｡
他受过伤｡ 汤母：真糟糕‚怎么回事儿？ 约翰尼：其实做游戏‚ 看谁可以把身体伸出窗户外面比较远‚他赢了｡
I Have His Ear in My Pocket Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?" "A kid bit me," replied Ivan. "Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother. "I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket." 它的耳朵里面从我衣袋里 胡特鼻子流着血回到家｡ 他妈妈问‚ “发生了什么事情？” “一个男孩咬住了我一口｡ ”胡特说｡
“见到他你能认出吗？”妈妈问｡ “他无论走到哪里我都可以认出来他‚ ”胡特说｡
“它的耳朵里面还从我衣袋里了｡ ” A Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy." 好宝宝 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱｡
“昨日给这个钱干什么了？” “我给了一个可怜老太太‚”他回答道｡ “你真是个好宝宝｡ ”妈妈自豪地说｡
“再给两分钱｡ 可是你为什么对这位老婆婆那样有兴趣呢？” “她是一个卖糖果的｡ ”
英语小笑话 上一个星期五我穿了一件 Adidas 的衣物去打篮球｡ 一个美国见到就笑了我讲｡ "Do you know what does it mean? It means All Day I Dream About Sex.我一天到晚都会想著 性‚ 简称刚好是 Adidas） " 正当我诧异她怎么反映那么快‚ 想像力那么丰富多彩时‚边上的 一个老美帮我救场‚ 他说道‚ 有一个很有名的合唱队 Korn‚ 他的招牌歌之一就是 A.D.I.D.A.S, (All day I dream about sex)所以啊‚这一历史典故但是这些老美都耳熟能详 能详的喔！ 下一次就换了你来嘲笑美国了 Drunk One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk." "But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman！" 喝醉 一天｡ 爸爸与儿子一道回家了｡ 这个小孩正处在那类对啥事非常感兴趣的年纪‚总是有提不尽的难题｡
她向爸爸发询问道：“父亲‚ ‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔‚ 小孩‚”爸爸回答道｡ “你看那里站在那里两个警察｡ 假如我将他们当做了四个‚ 那我即使喝醉了｡ ”
“但是‚父亲‚ ”小朋友说｡ “那里仅有一个警察呀！”｡
1. Mike:Mum,I want to watch TV.Mum:There is no electricity tonight.Mike:Then let's watch TVwith a candie on. 乔治：妈妈‚ 我想看电视｡
妈妈：今夜停电｡ 乔治：那么我们就点燃焟烛一下吧｡
2.The Fish Net "Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?" "A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl. 鱼网 "你可以告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗‚安？" 老师发询问道｡ "把很多小圆孔用一根绳子栓在一起也就成了鱼网了｡
" 小女孩回答说｡ 3. Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy." 好宝宝 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱｡
“昨日给这个钱干什么了？” “我给了一个可怜老太太‚”他回答道｡ “你真是个好宝宝‚”妈妈自豪地说｡
“再给两分钱｡ 可是你为什么对这位老婆婆那样有兴趣呢？” “她是一个卖糖果的｡ ”
4. I've Just Bitten My Tongue "Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother. "Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?" "Cause I've just bitten my tongue！ " 刚刚咬烂自已的嘴巴 “大家有害吗？”一个幼小的蛇问它妈妈｡ “没错‚亲爱哒‚ ”她回答道｡ “你问这做什么？” “由于我刚咬烂自已的嘴巴｡ ”
5. A Woman Who Fell It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal - As I neared the gate, a plump, middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind, lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back. Her momentum carried her close to my shoes. Before I could help her, however, she had scrambled up. Gaining her composure, she winked at me and said, "Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet？" 跌倒的女人 早晚高峰｡ 我匆匆忙忙冲向纽约市奢华南站去赶一趟火车｡ 贴近大门口‚ 一位肥胖中老年妇女从后跑过来‚想不到在光滑的大理石地板上失去了脚‚仰着滑倒了｡
她惯性力令她接近我脚｡ 我正要扶他‚ 她竟自身爬下去｡
她镇静了一下｡ 对于我挤了一下眉‚讲到：“总是会有好看女人跪倒从你脚底吗？”6. He is really somebody -- My uncle has 1000 men under him. -- He is really somebody. What does he do? -- A maintenance man in a cemetery. 他真是一个风云人物 -- 我大叔下方有1000本人｡ -- 他真是一个风云人物｡
干嘛的？ -- 公墓守陵人｡ 7. Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience. At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America." 他们是以国外立即所带来的 一位中国老妇人在美国探望女儿回家没多久‚ 到一家市银行存钱女儿赠给美钞｡
在银行柜面｡ 银行员工仔细检查了每一张钞票‚看有没有假｡ 这种行为让老太太不耐烦‚最终确实忍耐不住说：“信任我‚老先生‚也请相信这种纸币｡
这些都是名副其实的美金‚ 他们是以国外立即所带来的｡ ” 8.my little dog can't read Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog! Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers! Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read. 我狗不认识字 布朗夫人：哦‚ 亲爱哒｡ 我将爱惜这个小狗给丢失！ 斯密斯妻子：但是你该在报纸上发布广告啊！ 布朗夫人：无用的东西‚小狗不认字｡ ”
9. Bring me the winner —- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw. -- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight. -- Well, bring me the winner then. 给我那个打胜吧 -- 服务生‚ 这一龙虾仅有一只爪｡ -- 真的对不起‚老先生‚ 这一只毫无疑问打过架了｡
-- 哦｡ 那给我那个打胜吧｡ 10. Advice for "Kid" A bit of advice for those about to retire. If you are only 65, never move to a retirement community. Everybody else is n their 70s, 80s, or 90s. So when something has to be moved, lifted or loaded, they yell,"Get the kid." 告诫“年青者” 这儿想跟即将退休者提一点告诫｡
假如你仅有65岁得话｡ 千万不要进离休小区｡ 由于那边每个人都七八十岁或是八九十岁了｡
每每要搬家具‚抬东西或是放东西时‚他们便大声喊叫‚“让小一点干吧｡ ”｡
1.Is it a boy or a girlA: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a girl?B: It's a girl. She's my daughter.A: Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I didn't know that you were her father.B: I'm not. I'm her mother.汉语翻译：是男孩或是女孩？A：看看那个留短发和蓝色牛仔裤年轻人｡
是男孩或是女孩？B：是一个女孩｡ 她是我的女儿｡
A：哦‚真的对不起‚老先生｡ 不知道你们是她的爸爸｡
B：我并不是｡ 我就是她妈妈｡
2.Pretty uglyMary: John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly. What do you think, Peter?Peter: I think you're pretty ugly..汉语翻译：十分难看的玛莉：罗伯特觉得我很美｡ 杨紫说我很丑｡
你觉得怎么样‚约翰？彼得：我会觉得你丑｡ 3.Silent fartA man walks into the doctor's office with a serious problem."Doctor, I've had problems with silent gas emissions. At home, work, and even at church, I release tons of silent farts everywhere I go! As a matter of fact I've had three sitting here talking to you. What are we going to do?"The doctor replies:"The first thing we're going to do is check your hearing."汉语翻译：沉默屁：沉默屁一个人走入病人的公司办公室‚遇到了一个棘手的问题｡
“医师‚ 我还在无音汽体排出层面有什么问题｡ 在家里面‚工作中｡ 甚至是在主教堂‚我释放不计其数的无音屁‚ 不管我无论走到哪里！实际上‚ 我坐在这里与你交往过三次｡
应该怎么办呢？”医生回答说：“我们能做的第一件事就是查验你英语听力｡ ”3.Pay tax with a smileA: I hate paying my income tax.B: You should be a good citizen - why don't you pay with a smile?A: I'd like to but they insist on money！汉语翻译：A：我不喜欢付企业所得税｡
B：你应该是一个合格公民——你怎么不微微一笑付费呢？A：我很愿意‚可是他们坚持不懈需要钱！4.Take his placeAn attorney telephoned the governor just after midnight, insisting that he talk to him regarding a matter of utmost urgency. An aide eventually agreed to wake up the governor."So, what is it?" grumbled the governor."Judge Garber has just died," said the attorney, "and I want to take his place."Replied the governor, "Well, it's OK with me if it's OK with the undertaker."汉语翻译：取代他：替代这个位置深夜之后‚一位侓师打给市长‚ 执意要他跟他谈一件非常紧急的事｡ 一个小助手最后允许唤起市长｡
“那样｡ 这是什么呢？”市长埋怨道｡ “Garber审判长刚过世｡ ”律师说‚“我觉得接任这个位置｡ ”
市长回答道：“行吧‚假如宾仪馆还行得话‚我就可以了｡ ”5.I'm SickOne day Hamid felt very sick and he went to the hospital.Nurse: Hamid, the doctor is here to see you.Hamid: Tell him, I can't see him. I'm sick.汉语翻译：我生病了一天‚哈米德觉得很难受‚他到了医院｡
护理人员：哈米德‚医师来见你｡ 哈米德：对他说‚我看不见他｡
我生病了｡ 向阿姨致歉父亲：“孩子｡ 你怎么称呼你的大姐傻？”去和她说一声对不起｡ ”
孩子： "Aunt, I am sorry you are stupid."6.Undying loveGirl: Do you love me?Boy: Yes, dear.Girl: Would you die for me?Boy: No, mine is undying love.汉语翻译：守护永恒的爱：守护永恒的爱女孩：你爱不爱我？男孩：没错‚ 亲爱哒｡
女孩：你要给我而亡吗？男孩：不‚我爱是永恒的拓展材料：look at看； 思考； 评定； 接纳young person(14-17岁)未成年； 少年short hair短头发blue jeans深蓝色斜纹布牛仔裤子‚牛仔裤do you你愿意吗fart<讳>放臭屁； 不喜欢的人； 令人讨厌的人； 傻人walks体态（ walk的名词复数 ）； 人行横道； 徒步的路线； 走‚ 徒步‚散散步（ walk的第三人称单数 ）； 发生； 守候…走； 徒步旅游'vehave 的缩略形式At home在家里； 在中国； 在家里招呼客人； 熟练and even甚至｡
The Perfect Son. A: I have the perfect son. B: Does he smoke? A: No, he doesn't. B: Does he drink whiskey? A: No, he doesn't. B: Does he ever come home late? A: No, he doesn't. B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he? A: He will be six months old next Wednesday. 极致孩子 A：我有一个非常完美的大儿子. B：他抽烟吗？ A：不抽. B：他喝葡萄酒吗？ A：没喝. B：他会不会很晚回家？ A：不容易. B：估计你的确有一个极致孩子. 那么他多大了？ A：下星期三就满6个月了. Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy." 好宝宝 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱｡
“昨日给这个钱干什么了？” “我给了一个可怜老太太‚”他回答道｡ “你真是个好宝宝‚”妈妈自豪地说｡
“再给两分钱｡ 可是你为什么对这位老婆婆那样有兴趣呢？” “她是一个卖糖果的｡ ”
I've Just Bitten My Tongue "Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother. "Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?" "Cause I've just bitten my tongue！ " 刚刚咬烂自已的嘴巴 “大家有害吗？”一个幼小的蛇问它妈妈｡ “没错‚ 亲爱哒‚ ”她回答道‚ “你问这做什么？” “由于我刚咬烂自已的嘴巴｡ ”
Nest and Hair My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom. "What kind of bird?" my sister asked. "I didn't see the bird, ma' am, only the nest," replied the child. "Then, can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister encouraged her . "Well, ma'am, it just resembles your hair. " .燕子窝与秀发 我姐姐是一位小学教师｡ 一次一个学生告知她讲一只小鸟在教室外 的树枝垒了一个窝｡
“是什么鸟呢？”我妹妹问｡ “我没有看到小鸟‚ 教师‚只看到了燕子窝｡ ”
这孩子回答道｡ “那样‚ 你能够给描述一下这一燕窝吗？”我妹妹激励她道｡
“哦‚教师｡ 如同头发一样｡ ” Bring me the winner -- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw. -- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight. -- Well, bring me the winner then. 给我那个打胜吧 -- 服务生‚ 这一龙虾仅有一只爪｡
-- 真的对不起‚ 老先生｡ 这一只毫无疑问打过架了｡ -- 哦‚ 那给我那个打胜吧｡
Dick was seven years old, and his sister, Catherine, was five. One day their mother took them to their aunt's house to play while she went to the big city to buy some new clothes. The children played for an hour, and then at half past four their aunt took Dick into the kitchen. She gave him a nice cake and a knife and said to him, "Now here's a knife, Dick. Cut this cake in half and give one of the pieces to your sister, but remember to do it like a gentleman." "Like a gentleman?" Dick asked. "How do gentlemen do it?" "They always give the bigger piece to the other person." answered his aunt at once. "Oh" said Dick. He thought about this for a few seconds. Then he took the cake to his sister and said to her,"Cut this cake in half, Catherine.". 丹尼年纪七岁｡ 他的妹妹凯瑟琳五岁｡ 一天‚妈妈将他们送到姑姑家玩儿‚自己也到城里去买一些一个新的衣服裤子｡
小朋友们玩个把小时｡ 在四点半时‚姑姑带着丹尼走入了餐厅厨房｡ 她交到丹尼一块精美的蛋糕和一把刀子‚并告诉他：“喏｡ 丹尼‚让你小刀‚把这块蛋糕一切为二｡ 让你亲妹妹一块｡
但是‚ 你要记牢需做得跟一个绅士那般｡ ” 丹尼问：“像一个绅士？有风度如何干呢？” 他姑姑马上回答道：“有风度常常把大一点的一块让给其他人｡ ”
丹尼讲了一声“噢”｡ 他对于此事想想一会｡ 随后｡ 他将生日蛋糕交给亲妹妹‚ 并跟她说：“凯瑟琳｡ 你来将这块蛋糕一切为二吧｡ ”
I'm Trying to Stop It "Boy, why have you got cotton-wool in your ear? Is it infected?" "No, sir, but you said yesterday that everything you told me went in one ear and out the other , so I am trying to stop it." “小孩‚你为什么要用棉花塞住耳朵里面？它传染了吗？” “并没有‚教师｡ 但是你昨天说你跟我说的基础知识都是一个耳朵里面进‚一个耳朵里面出‚因此我要把它堵在里边｡ ”
“I'm sorry ,Madam ,but I shall have to charge you twenty dollars for pulling your boy's tooth .” “Twenty d ollars! Why ,I understand you to say that you charged only four dollars for such work!” “Yes ,but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared four other patients out of the office .” “真的对不起‚妻子‚ 给您孩子拔牙我想扣除20美金｡ ” “20美金！为何？你不是说只需4美金｡ ”
“没错‚但你的孩子大喊大叫‚把此外四个患者吓跑了｡ ” The lecturer on evolution had been going on for nearly two hours. then he started again, and said he:"Let me ask the evolutionist a question --｡
请采取我的缺点 1、一个女生前一天晚上获得男朋友的求婚戒指‚ 但竟并没有一个同学留意到‚ 使她惊诧不已｡
到晚上大伙儿坐下来谈天之后‚她突然站起来大声说道：“哎哟｡ 这儿真热呀‚我觉得我也把钻戒脱掉吧｡ ” 2、女主人家把女佣喊到眼前问：“你有没有怀孕？” “对啊！”女佣答道｡
“亏你却说得出入口‚ 你还没结婚｡ 难道不感觉羞涩吗？”女主人家再度训｡ “为什么要羞涩‚女主人家你也怀孕了吗？” “而我怀的是我爱人的！”女主人家气呼呼的辩驳｡
“我也是啊！”女佣兴高采烈附合｡ 3、一个人开车喜爱反穿着打扮｡ 就是把贷款口子后边扣起来‚ 能够档风｡
一天他酒后驾车｡ 翻‚ 一头栽到道旁｡ 警员赶来： 警员甲：好严重的车祸｡
警员乙：对啊｡ 脑壳都撞倒后边来到｡ 警员甲：嗯‚ 也有吸气‚大家帮助他将头转回家吧｡
警员乙：好｡ ..一、二用劲‚ 转回家了｡
警员甲：嗯｡ 没吸气了｡
. 4、在一条七拐八拐的乡村公路上‚ 由于常常发生交通事故‚ 所以经常有一些恐怖故事产生‚ 有一天晚上‚有一个出租车驾驶员看到马路边有一个长发披肩｡ 身穿白衫的女人跟他挥手‚因为这驾驶员没见过鬼‚因此大胆的尝试慢下来让其上车了｡ 这一路上‚驾驶员虽然没有信闹鬼‚心里也是小毛毛的‚ 因此常常从反光镜看后边的女人‚开了开着｡ 忽然驾驶员发觉那一个女人不见了！驾驶员吓了一大跳‚ 赶快踩到一个刹车踏板！只看见那一个女人浑身是血的｡ 神情凶狠｡ 驾驶员吓得牙直颤抖｡
忽然那女人开口说：“你是否会驾车啊！我低下头系个鞋绳你突然一刹车踏板我将鼻部都撞出了……” 5、一个患者去看病‚ 医院检查他‚板着脸说：“您这病非常严重了‚也许不容易活多长时间了｡ ” 患者：“求您跟我说我还能活多久？” 医师：“十……” 患者心急地问道：“十哪些？十年？？十个月？？？十天？？？？？” 医师：“十‚九‚ 八‚七‚六‚五……” 6、教师：“你能说一些18新世纪专家共同的特点吗？” 学生们：“能‚她们都不在了｡ ”
7、犀粪蜣和蚊虫处对象‚蜣问蚊子是干什么工作‚ 蚊虫说：“护理人员‚注射的｡ ”蜣一拍大腿：“缘份呐‚ 我就是中药材局搓药粒的…” 8、一非洲黑人住在某一酒店｡
夜深｡ 着火‚ 莫名奇妙｡ 非洲黑人瞧见顾不上那样很多‚光着身子就走出去了｡
消防人员瞧见高呼：“哎呀妈呀！都烧糊了吧区域了也能走这么快！” 9、一个人想出国培训｡ 但是必须获得老板准许｡ 于是他就向老板请示报告｡ 老板给了她一张字条‚ 上面写：“Go ahead”｡
那个人想：“Go ahead=前行‚老板是批准了｡ ”于是他就逐渐打理行李箱｡
一个同事遇见了她问：“你一直在做什啊？？”他说道：“我打算出国培训‚ 老板批准了‚帮我写'Go ahead'｡ ” 朋友一见条就笑了：“我们老板压根就没准许！！咱老板的外语水平你还不明白‚这要在说去块头！” 10、法师对购买了他马和马车子农民说：“这匹马只有听得懂教会的语言表达｡ 叫"感谢上苍"他就跑；叫"赞扬造物主"才停住｡ ”
农民半信半疑‚他尝试喊了一声感谢上苍‚那匹马马上狂奔下去‚ 越跑越快｡ 一只跑进悬崖上惊惧的农民才想起来使它停下来的动态口令“赞扬造物主”｡
果真‚马慢下来了｡ 九死一生的农民长出一口气：“感谢上苍………”打了好久‚请采取1 the night before, a girl get boyfriend engagement ring, but no one noticed the classmate, make her antics. You sit and chat in the afternoon, she suddenly stood up and shouted: "oh, it's really hot in here, I think I'd better take off your ring." 2, the mistress called the maid to ask her: "are you pregnant?" "Yes!" The maid answered. Export "kui you still say, you are not married, don't you feel shy?" The hostess training again. "Why should I be shy, you don't the hostess also pregnant?" "But I conceive is my husband!" The hostess retorted angrily. "Me too!" The maid happy to echo. 3, a man riding a motorcycle like the dress, is to cut on the back, can the wind. Drunk driving one day, he turned over, a planted on the road. Police: police a: a good serious car accident. Policeman b: yes, his head hit the back. Po1: well, still breathing, let's help him turn his head back. Po2: good｡
One, two, turn back. Policeman a: well, not breathing｡ 4, turn in a curvy country road, because often in a car accident, so often have some ghost story, one night, there's a taxi driver saw the side of the road have a long hair shawls, dressed in a white woman waved to him, because the driver didn't see a ghost, so bold stopped to let her get on the bus, along the way, the driver doesn't believe in ghosts, the in the mind also maomao, so often the woman behind the rearview mirror to see, open open, the driver found the woman suddenly disappeared! The driver startled, hurriedly stepped on a brake! I saw the woman face is blood, grim expression. The driver frighten of teeth chatter. Suddenly the woman spoke: "would you drive! I bow to fasten shoelaces are you smashed through a sudden brake my nos｡
描述幽默风趣英文英语单词：humorous
发音：英 ['hjuːmurus] 美 ['hjuːmurus]
释意：adj. 幽默风趣；风趣的
使用方法实例如下所示：
1、He was quite humorous, and I liked that about him.
他非常幽默‚我喜欢他这一点｡
2、Indeed he has a solemn face, but he is very humorous at heart.
他确实有一副严肃的脸孔‚但是内心则是很富幽默风趣｡
3、From the story, we can see that the wisdom and humorous side of a good leader.
从这一故事中｡ 我们可以看到一个好的领导者智慧与幽默风趣一面｡
拓展材料：
同义词
amusing、comical、funny、ridiculous
这几个词都可以表明“引人发笑的”｡
amusing表示“逗乐的｡ 让人兴奋的”；
funny表明“荒唐的‚搞笑的”‚词意比amusing强｡ 在英语口语中｡ 也有“不可理解”的意味；
comical表示“喜剧性的‚笑破肚皮的”‚只能用于人的表情、个人行为或某一局势等‚非常少用于指自然事物；
ridiculous表明“荒诞的‚不明智的”‚ 有时候可引申为“令人发笑的”‚具备瞧不起的意思｡
▎搞笑的英语 搞笑的英文单词怎么写(特别推荐),起名几大方法：
1：宝宝暗寓起搞笑,名字法 现如今起名字庸俗的缘故之一,是太露、太显,例如"刘明"、"刘华"、"凤英"、"淑琴"等这种最普遍的姓名,通常是一览无余,欠缺回味无穷的空间｡ 如有可能,何不用暗寓命名法,自然这必须点文本时间｡
2：根据喻意吉祥如意幸福起名 追求完美吉祥如意幸福,是每一个家长的愿望和理想｡ 有些人在取名字时只片面强调名字汉字字意的幸福,却忽略了名字汉字是不是合乎本身的八字命理衰旺,也不留意名字的五格数理是不是吉祥如意｡ 而名字汉字仅有在合乎一个性命局衰旺和五格数理凶吉的前提条件下,其吉祥如意幸福的诱发才可以真实产生功效｡
3：选用带传统乐器的诗词起宝宝名 像一些含有传统乐器的古诗词,能给人一种歌曲美丽的觉得,也就是大伙儿所找寻的意境美｡ 比如古诗文中较常出現的箫、筝、阮、笛、笙磬等｡
4：季节起个搞笑,名字法 在让你的宝宝取名时,能够依据出世的季节取名字,是记牢生日的好方法,宝宝按季节取名字也是在我国民俗常见的一种取名字方式｡ 假如起好啦别有一番味儿,颇具诗情画意｡ 以春为例子,好多人在给孩子起名字时想要采用此字之名,在其中关键缘故,取决于"一年四季取决于春","春季"一直给人生机勃勃的景色,采用"春"字取名,通常有二种方法,一种是立即用"春"再再加上其他的可以连在一起的字的组词一个词,做为姓名｡ 另一种是以间接的采用与"春季"有关的词语为取名计划方案,三春、青杨、韶节、阳节、骄阳、青春等｡
【依昕】
——取自敦煌人作品[一]的诗句《[一五]“走”原作“奏”,依甲、乙、丙、丁四卷改｡ 》
依：依字念作yī,依字五行属土,推荐新生儿名字,意指靠谱、可信赖、质量好之义｡
昕：昕字念作xīn,昕字五行属火,起个搞笑,名字,意指青春活力、太阳、期待、光辉之义｡
【紫静】
——取自宋太宗的诗句《人本心田静,机关买是非｡ 》
紫：紫字念作zǐ,紫字五行属金,挑选新生儿名字,意指高雅、神密、完善、烂漫之义｡
静：静字念作jìng,静字五行属金,精选搞笑,名字,意指娴雅、儒雅、平静、温柔内敛｡
【诗雯】
——取自仇远的诗句《香沟诗叶难寻｡ 》
诗：诗字念作shī,诗字五行属金,推荐新生儿名字,意指贤能、温文尔雅、造就非凡｡
雯：雯字念作wén,雯字五行属水,起个搞笑,名字,意指漂亮又有文笔之义｡
【海丹】
——取自刘辰翁的诗词《海枯泣尽天吴泪｡ 》
海：海字念作hǎi,海字五行属水,挑选新生儿名字,意指远大、胸怀宽广｡
丹：丹字念作dān,丹字五行属火,精选搞笑,名字,意指真诚、真心实意、赤城丹心｡
▎搞笑的英语 搞笑的英文单词怎么写(特别推荐) ：带字义分析
① 、 【文菲】
文本五行属水,用作新生儿名字意指文笔、聪慧、娴雅沉稳｡ 文：1、指纪录语言表达的标记,如文本；2、人们劳动者人果的汇总,如文化艺术,珍贵文物；3、富易辞采、柔和,如温文尔雅,娴雅,温文尔雅｡
菲：花草植物的香味浓厚的；蔓草繁茂聚集的模样｡ 菲字五行属木,新生儿名字搞笑, ,用作人名意指活力四射、清艳超凡脱俗、风姿卓越之义｡
② 、 【芯妍】
芯：灯心草茎中的髓,别名“灯蕊”；.物件的管理中心一部分；蛇和羊的嘴巴｡ 芯字五行属木,用作搞笑,名字意指备受关注、不同流俗、无上光荣之义｡
妍：巧,漂亮,幸福｡ 妍字五行属水,搞笑,宝宝名字,用作人名意指聪颖、聪慧、秀丽、纯真之义｡
③ 、 【嘉瑶】
嘉：一般指善、美、赞誉、夸奖、吉祥、幸福快乐、快乐等｡ 嘉字五行属木,用作新生儿名字意指心地善良、吉祥如意、幸福、开朗之义｡
瑶：良玉,形容幸福,宝贵,光辉,雪白｡ 瑶字五行属火,新生儿名字搞笑, ,用作人名意指纯真、开朗、漂亮、前途似景之义｡
④ 、 【婉清】
婉：本意为头发柔顺,也指听从或委婉,本义温婉或幸福｡ 婉字五行属土,用作新生儿名字意指温婉、漂亮、清静、幸福之义｡
清：指纯真、清明节、清正、幽雅崇高、廉洁｡ 清字五行属水,宝贝名字搞笑,,用作人名意指搞清楚、清廉正直、纯真之义；根据起名68网(www.qm68.com)网名字库大数据分析,【婉清】这个名字更适合给,这个名字女孩使用比例高｡
▎搞笑的英语 搞笑的英文单词怎么写(特别推荐)
雨方、乐菱、雨妍、烁彤、岚瑶、
之双、碧婕、梦宸、翠寒、和晨、
亚淼、睿轩、清慧、娴媛、海允、
平淳、锦曦、泰翰、圣柯、琪熙、
影岚、云清、亚兴、度孝、亦清、
绿竹、冬寒、山兰、惠巧、琬琲、
鸿明、风豪、铂坤、子刚、庆润、
旭光、若雯、玥贤、煜欣、烨磊、
勤婷、莎苹、美茹、莺雨、佩睿、
坤若、晗日、东湘、康琴、洋新、
木曼、润慧、世高、姗瑶、寒珍、
莺艳、建平、力仁、启恒、若晗、
雪娴、智婵、旭沁、启畅、森蕾、
淑涵、锦镎、梓皓、越扬、希文、
▎搞笑的英语 搞笑的英文单词怎么写(特别推荐) （601个英文名字大全）
